# 5: "We'll Just Fix It Later" — Why That's a Lie

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/5-we-ll-just-fix-it-later-why-that-s-a-lie
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/5-we-ll-just-fix-it-later-why-that-s-a-lie.md
Podcast: [The Ugly Truth of Divorce](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600)
Published: 2026-02-19T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://audioboom.com/posts/8861326
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/audioboom.com/posts/8861326.mp3?modified=1771245788&sid=5166049&source=rss
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/episodes/5-we-ll-just-fix-it-later-why-that-s-a-lie
Duration seconds: 1431

## Resource

"We'll just fix it later." That's the lie everyone believes when they sign a shitty parenting plan. Bullshit. Courts don't work that way. Once the plan is signed, you're stuck unless you can prove a "material and substantial change in circumstances." And guess what? Two hours late every Sunday for two years? Not substantial enough. Episode 5 breaks down why modification is almost impossible, and why you get ONE SHOT at getting this right. The dangerous assumption: Parents think if something doesn't work, they can just go back and change it. Wrong. The bar for modification is SO high, most violations don't qualify. The garbage modification clauses: "Court shall not modify absent material change in circumstance" (What's "material"? Nobody defines it) "Change must be substantial and continuing in nature" (How substantial? How long? Judge decides, after you've paid thousands) "Party seeking modification bears burden of proving" (You prove it. With facts, pictures, data. Not feelings) Real example: Client documented violations for six months. Judge: "Come back at 18 months." She did. Ex had been squeaky clean for six weeks before court. Judge: "Why are we even here? He's improving." Why contempt is a joke: You document for months. File contempt. They behave for six weeks before court. You look crazy. They look improved. You spent thousands for: "Don't do that again, sir." Three weeks later? Back to violating. No consequences. No penalties. Courts favor stability over safety: Kids passing school despite chaos? No modification. Courts say "doing okay" = not bad enough to change. What actually protects you: Built-in consequences, automatic penalties, review periods, defined modification triggers, all written into the plan UPFRONT. Without these? You're stuck for 18 years with…

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