# 20: Do NOT Put Cell Phones in Your Parenting Plan. Here's Why.

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/20-do-not-put-cell-phones-in-your-parenting-plan-here-s-why
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/20-do-not-put-cell-phones-in-your-parenting-plan-here-s-why.md
Podcast: [The Ugly Truth of Divorce](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600)
Published: 2026-04-14T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://audioboom.com/posts/8887485
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/audioboom.com/posts/8887485.mp3?modified=1776070967&sid=5166049&source=rss
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Duration seconds: 1154

## Resource

Real quick before we get into it. If your ex's name is anywhere near your kid's phone plan, fix that today. I'll wait. Okay. Now that we've handled that, let's talk about why I stopped putting cell phones in parenting plans and why I will never go back. This is not an episode about screen time or what age your kid should get a phone. I don't care about that and honestly it's none of my business. What I do care about is what happens when a high conflict ex gets any kind of financial or legal grip on your kid's cell phone. Because I have seen it play out. I lived it. And I am not letting you walk into that trap without a warning. The second that phone is in your parenting plan, your ex has a reason to be in your business about it forever. Who pays, who decides on the upgrade, who gets to set the rules, whose line is it under. Every single one of those questions becomes a fight. And if you know anything about high conflict people and money, you already know how that goes. So here is what I tell every parent who asks me to put it in their plan. Go buy the phone yourself. Get the insurance. Tell your kid it goes everywhere. And never once treat it like a joint decision because it is not. You bought it. You own it. You make the rules. We talk about what actually happens when your ex bans the phone from their house, why two phones is one of the most selfish co-parenting moves I have ever seen, and why location tracking is so far down my list of things to fight about that I almost didn't mention it. Almost. We also get into the phrase a therapist gave me that I tweaked and still say to my kids to this day when I cannot fight a battle for them at the other house. Your kid doesn't need two phones. They need one parent who has their head on straight and refuses to make a rectangl…

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## Transcript

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