# 13: The “Access to Records” Clause That Lets Your Ex Interfere Everywhere

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/13-the-access-to-records-clause-that-lets-your-ex-interfere-everywhere
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/13-the-access-to-records-clause-that-lets-your-ex-interfere-everywhere.md
Podcast: [The Ugly Truth of Divorce](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600)
Published: 2026-03-19T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://audioboom.com/posts/8874315
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/audioboom.com/posts/8874315.mp3?modified=1773624065&sid=5166049&source=rss
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/episodes/13-the-access-to-records-clause-that-lets-your-ex-interfere-everywhere
Duration seconds: 889

## Resource

Tired of being your ex's unpaid personal assistant? Sick of the "you didn't tell me" games when you KNOW they got the same damn email? This is about the Access to Records clause—the paragraph most people don't know they need until it's too late. Just because your custody agreement says "joint parenting" doesn't mean shit when your ex is playing information gatekeeper. Won't tell you what team your kid is on. Puts their NEW SPOUSE down on school forms instead of you. Conveniently "forgets" to add your email. This is control. This is manipulation. This is why you need this clause. In this episode: Why your ex refuses to list your info (it's control, not forgetfulness) How to stop being their secretary What to do when they leave you off forms The one question that saves your sanity Here's the truth: If it's online, they can find it themselves. You're NOT their secretary. You're NOT required to send screenshots five times. And you're NOT a bad co-parent because you won't do their work. Stop asking someone who hates you to do you favors. Take your parenting plan to the school yourself and get added. Go to the doctor's office. Check the portal. Do the work. When they accuse you of being a bad co-parent, ask yourself: "Is that true?" No. Because you put their number down. You sent the link. Their laziness is not your emergency. Bottom line: This clause stops you from being their secretary while ensuring equal access. Without it? Years of fighting over basic information. Stop doing their work for them. Now go set some boundaries. Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away: Stop Being Their Secretary - You're not obligated to constantly update your ex on information they can access themselves online. Both Parents Must Be Listed - A proper access to records clause requires each pare…

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/episodes/13-the-access-to-records-clause-that-lets-your-ex-interfere-everywhere/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/13-the-access-to-records-clause-that-lets-your-ex-interfere-everywhere.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.