# 12: Why Parallel Parenting Saves Your Sanity (And Your Kids)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/12-why-parallel-parenting-saves-your-sanity-and-your-kids
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/12-why-parallel-parenting-saves-your-sanity-and-your-kids.md
Podcast: [The Ugly Truth of Divorce](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600)
Published: 2026-03-17T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://audioboom.com/posts/8874307
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/audioboom.com/posts/8874307.mp3?modified=1773622794&sid=5166049&source=rss
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ugly-truth-of-divorce-7690600/episodes/12-why-parallel-parenting-saves-your-sanity-and-your-kids
Duration seconds: 1079

## Resource

The courts are lying to you. You cannot co-parent with someone who wants to destroy you. I spent 8-10 years trying to be the "good" co-parent. Sharing information, being flexible, trying to communicate. And you know what I got? Anxiety-ridden kids who begged me to stop talking to their dad, every piece of information weaponized in court, and zero reciprocation. The courts push this fairy tale where you're flexible, share information, meet for coffee to discuss behavior changes. But with a high conflict ex who talks shit, is late on purpose, and uses every word against you? Co-parenting is impossible and harmful to your kids. Enter parallel parenting. My house, my rules. His house, his rules. We don't overlap, don't share, don't force cooperation that doesn't exist. My kids? Better than fine. Because they're not witnessing the tension every time I tried to "co-parent" with someone who treated communication like ammunition. In this episode: What makes someone "high conflict" (you already know) Why courts label YOU as difficult for wanting boundaries How my kids told me to stop standing with their dad at sporting events Real parallel parenting examples and why different rules are actually healthy The trauma bond that made me run my house through a "dad filter" The loose tooth incident: damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't You've been made to feel guilty? This is your permission slip to stop. Parallel parenting protects your kids from the chaos. You don't have to share what happens at your house. And he doesn't get to tell you what the fuck to do at yours either. Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away: You Literally Cannot Co-Parent with Someone Who Hates You - I tried for 10 years and all it did was give my kids anxiety and give my ex ammunition to use against me in cour…

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