# Kind Eyes on the Lower East Side

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side.md
Podcast: [The Nuance Diaries](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-nuance-diaries-7119430)
Published: 2025-12-08T11:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://thenuancediaries.substack.com/p/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/177514631/bf5f5cf7b342715794552e0836d4c6a5.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-nuance-diaries-7119430/episodes/kind-eyes-on-the-lower-east-side
Duration seconds: 462

## Resource

I saw a stranger with really kind eyes a few months ago on the Lower East Side. This man with kind eyes looked like he was in love with this girl. I thought to myself, Will anyone like that ever fall in love with me? Would they love me if they knew who I was? What I’d been through? The dark shit clogged inside me? I realized a year or so ago that whenever I pictured my future self, she looked different from how I do now. She had straight long hair, and always looked more together than me. I’ve been trying to picture a future self who looks more like my present self, because I want to think of my present self as deserving of the things that I think my future self will have. I even have this outfit (that I currently own) that I’ll specifically picture my future self wearing: my ‘Victoria Beckham’ jeans , white mock turtleneck shirt. I’ll picture myself at a conference or worship wearing this outfit — or even just living a casual day in my future life. When I wear this outfit now, in the present day, it helps me feel a little closer to my future self. *They are not actually from Victoria’s fashion line; they’re just flair jeans that remind me of the ones she wore in the David Beckham documentary when they were dancing to Islands in the Stream. When I was facing serious financial issues earlier this year , I thought a lot about the different, somewhat extreme, things people consider doing for money when they’re desperate and don’t have other options. And I came really close to doing some of those things. I considered doing things I would never dream of if I weren’t in such a financially unstable position. I ultimately did not do any of those things — and I’m incredibly lucky that I had that choice. So many people don’t have choices about where and how they live, and what t…

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## Transcript

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