# Episode 56 – Where I Am Now

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-next-podcast-moving-forward-with-grief-and-loss-7049767/episode-56-where-i-am-now
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-next-podcast-moving-forward-with-grief-and-loss-7049767/episode-56-where-i-am-now.md
Podcast: [The Next Podcast: Moving Forward with Grief and Loss](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-next-podcast-moving-forward-with-grief-and-loss-7049767)
Published: 2026-03-04T15:43:50+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jay-cookingham/episodes/Episode-56--Where-I-Am-Now-e3fu9i1
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/fc08e024/podcast/play/116384769/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-2-4%2F78493f07-a923-ebc8-ce41-29261a0569ae.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-next-podcast-moving-forward-with-grief-and-loss-7049767/episodes/episode-56-where-i-am-now
Duration seconds: 1051

## Resource

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, I share honestly about where I am now — not as a pastor or teacher, but as a man still walking forward after loss. Grief has reshaped me. It has changed how I see myself, my future, and even my voice. As a widower who loved being married, I wrestle with what it means to still speak about marriage. I grieve not only the loss of my bride, but for the person I might have become with her by my side. In this episode, I talk about: • Loss does not disqualify you from having a voice • Grieving the version of yourself that might have been • Beauty as God’s invitation back to life. • Why grief feels like “the fast you never break” • Why ordinary memories — bananas, coffee, tea — carry sacred weight • Trusting God’s goodness without requiring something “good” to come from your pain If you are grieving more than just a person — if you’re grieving identity, future, or the ordinary rhythms of life — I hope this conversation reminds you: You’re not strange. You’re not behind. You’re not doing this wrong. You are heard. God is good. He is always good. And He answers out of His goodness. Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

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## Transcript

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