# Why We Spend Years Chasing Things We Don't Really Want | Alain de Botton

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-midlife-chrysalis-7361713/why-we-spend-years-chasing-things-we-don-t-really-want-alain-de-botton
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-midlife-chrysalis-7361713/why-we-spend-years-chasing-things-we-don-t-really-want-alain-de-botton.md
Podcast: [The Midlife Chrysalis](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-midlife-chrysalis-7361713)
Published: 2026-06-26T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/themidlifechrysalis/episodes/Why-We-Spend-Years-Chasing-Things-We-Dont-Really-Want--Alain-de-Botton-e3kri6q
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/105945268/podcast/play/121538202/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-5-16%2F426220662-44100-2-bae25707ac0ed.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-midlife-chrysalis-7361713/episodes/why-we-spend-years-chasing-things-we-don-t-really-want-alain-de-botton
Duration seconds: 2821

## Resource

You followed the rules, built a successful career, and checked the boxes you thought would make you happy. So why does something still feel missing? In this powerful conversation, bestselling author, philosopher, psychotherapist, and founder of The School of Life, Alain de Botton joins Chip Conley to explore what midlife teaches us about happiness, relationships, purpose, and becoming more fully ourselves. In this episode, you'll learn: Why status, success, and achievement often fail to deliver lasting fulfillment How heartbreak, loneliness, and setbacks can become sources of wisdom Why friendship becomes more valuable as we get older The hidden reason so many relationships struggle and what better love requires Why self-knowledge is the foundation of a meaningful life Filled with insight, honesty, and practical wisdom, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on aging, growth, and what truly matters. Watch now and discover why midlife may not be a crisis at all. It may be the beginning of your most authentic chapter. Timestamps: (02:00) Meet Alain de Botton (03:25) Philosophy vs Psychotherapy (05:59) The Origin of The School of Life (07:42) Knowledge vs Wisdom (11:33) Status Anxiety Explained (14:48) Why Midlife Changes Us (17:12) What Gets Better After 50 (19:10) Friendship and Heartbreak (21:23) Modern Love and Relationships (24:52) The Art of Travel (27:14) Travel as Self-Discovery (30:15) Places That Feed the Soul (31:24) Childhood and Curiosity (33:46) Solving Our Parents' Problems (34:35) Becoming a Psychotherapist at 50 (37:33) A Wisdom Bumper Sticker (40:40) Know Yourself (41:16) Learning New Things Later in Life (43:17) Final Thoughts Learn more about MEA at ⁠https://www.meawisdom.com/ #Midlife #PersonalGrowth #SelfKnowledge #Happiness #SuccessMindse…

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