# Why Abusive People Lash Out When You Get Too Close (Puffer-Fishing)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-mental-healness-podcast-526019/why-abusive-people-lash-out-when-you-get-too-close-puffer-fishing
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-mental-healness-podcast-526019/why-abusive-people-lash-out-when-you-get-too-close-puffer-fishing.md
Podcast: [The Mental Healness Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-mental-healness-podcast-526019)
Published: 2026-05-31T19:38:47+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mentalhealness/episodes/Why-Abusive-People-Lash-Out-When-You-Get-Too-Close-Puffer-Fishing-e3k5768
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/cd15a2c/podcast/play/120806024/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-4-31%2F425241895-44100-2-d4ed74c74b908.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-mental-healness-podcast-526019/episodes/why-abusive-people-lash-out-when-you-get-too-close-puffer-fishing
Duration seconds: 1260

## Resource

Have you ever head of PUFFER FISHING? In this video, Lee Hammock breaks down the exact mechanics of this toxic behavior and explains why abusers and controlling people suddenly turn freezing cold the exact moment a relationship becomes emotionally real. I take a deep dive into how toxic individuals act deeply affectionate and attentive at first, only to "puff up" their defenses, lash out, or pick fights over trivial matters when true intimacy is required. If you've ever felt completely stranded by a partner who clams up, runs away, or ghosted you just as you were getting close, you are likely dealing with the defensive mechanism of an abusive person trying to regain control. Connect with Lee: My Courses: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://courses.mentalhealness.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 1-on-1 Coaching Calls: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://link.me/mentalhealness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ All My Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://beacons.page/mentalhealness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss If this episode helped you gain clarity, please leave a 5-star review on Spotify! It helps others find the validation they need to heal. 🌟

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## Transcript

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