# 103. Tonya Kelly on the Complexities of Being a Childfree Stepmom

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-kids-or-childfree-podcast-6725428/103-tonya-kelly-on-the-complexities-of-being-a-childfree-stepmom
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-kids-or-childfree-podcast-6725428/103-tonya-kelly-on-the-complexities-of-being-a-childfree-stepmom.md
Podcast: [The Kids or Childfree Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-kids-or-childfree-podcast-6725428)
Published: 2026-04-22T19:53:00+00:00
Episode link: https://81cffad0-1139-4cb7-be39-26dc670a9d20.libsyn.com/103-tonya-kelly-on-the-complexities-of-being-a-childfree-stepmom
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/81cffad0-1139-4cb7-be39-26dc670a9d20/KM_-_EP_103_-_Podcast_Audio.mp3?dest-id=4261233
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-kids-or-childfree-podcast-6725428/episodes/103-tonya-kelly-on-the-complexities-of-being-a-childfree-stepmom
Duration seconds: 4078

## Resource

In this episode, Keltie speaks with therapist, Tonya Kelly, about what happens when you're childfree by choice...but your partner is a parent. Hear them discuss: How societal norms and family expectations clouded Tonya's Kids or Childfree choice. Tonya's journey to making her childfree decision, after years of being on the fence. How she navigated tough conversations with her mom about her decision not to have kids, especially as an only child. - The things that helped Tonya to cultivate greater confidence in her childfree choice. The challenges — and perks — of being married to someone who is a parent. How unusual and challenging it can be to be a step-mom who is childfree — and why it often feels like you don't fully fit in anywhere. (0:48) Meet Tonya and her Kids or Childfree decision (12:27) Advice for fence-sitters about outside pressure (18:07) Marriage, divorce, considering egg freezing, and re-marrying someone with a 16-year-old (34:22) Being a childfree step-mother (47:28) Tips for finding confidence in being childfree (56:34) Tonya's experience in the Confidently Childfree Group Intensive About Tonya: Tonya Kelly has a background in social work and is an owner of a private practice clinic in Ontario, Canada. She specializes in trauma treatment for first responders. She also works with individuals and couples to help them explore old patterns, heal from painful experiences and reconnect with their sense of self. She is deeply committed to her own healing journey and is passionate about cultivating a life that is rooted in inner peace, joy, and purpose. She spent over a decade on the fence about whether or not to have kids, shaped by her own childhood experiences, relationship changes and learning to trust her inner knowing. Mentioned in the episode: Find Tonya…

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