# [Update] Beware of the Covert Narcissist

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-empowered-leader-podcast-7445842/update-beware-of-the-covert-narcissist
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-empowered-leader-podcast-7445842/update-beware-of-the-covert-narcissist.md
Podcast: [The Empowered Leader Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-empowered-leader-podcast-7445842)
Published: 2026-07-02T22:00:09+00:00
Episode link: https://substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/p/update-beware-of-the-covert-narcissist
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/204749547/bed6e24261a9903957b19375a2c5bd3f.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-empowered-leader-podcast-7445842/episodes/update-beware-of-the-covert-narcissist
Duration seconds: 947

## Resource

The covert narcissist is loud. They take the room. They demand the spotlight. They are easier to spot. The covert narcissist does not announce themselves. They arrive humble. They arrive helpful. They arrive as the “safe” one in the room. They tell stories of being misunderstood. They mention how others have hurt them. They position themselves as the quiet, sensitive, deeply-feeling person You are lucky to have on your side. And by the time you realize The relationship has been a slow extraction You are already entangled. This is not a piece about diagnosis. It is a piece about pattern recognition. And about what your body has been trying to tell you For a long time. Why This Matters Most people miss the covert narcissist because they are looking for the loud one. They are looking for arrogance. Bragging. Bombast. Covert narcissism is overt narcissism with better marketing. It looks like : • the friend who is always supportive, until you succeed past them • the mentor who guides you toward their own visibility, not yours • the colleague who is humble in public and competitive in private • the partner who is gentle until you assert yourself • the family member who is generous with help that comes with hooks The covert narcissist does not announce themselves. They audition for the role of the safest person in the room. Their humility is the costume. Their need to be central is the body underneath. For marginalized leaders, especially, the covert narcissist is a particular danger. They gravitate toward people who are: • visible • capable • generous • trying to break new ground They use the language of allyship, mentorship, and support. They make themselves indispensable. They become entangled in your story until your wins begin to feel like betrayals to them. The cost is…

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## Transcript

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