# When "How Can I Help?" Makes You Want to Scream: Let's Talk Emotional Labor, ADHD, and the Fair Play Solution with Dr Regina Lark.

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast-sex-love-intimacy-relationship-coaching-for-women-and-mothers-7039806/when-how-can-i-help-makes-you-want-to-scream-let-s-talk-emotional-labor-adhd-and-the-fair-play-solution-with-dr-regina-lark
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast-sex-love-intimacy-relationship-coaching-for-women-and-mothers-7039806/when-how-can-i-help-makes-you-want-to-scream-let-s-talk-emotional-labor-adhd-and-the-fair-play-solution-with-dr-regina-lark.md
Podcast: [The Ecology of Intimacy podcast: Sex, Love, Intimacy & Relationship Coaching for Women and Mothers.](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast-sex-love-intimacy-relationship-coaching-for-women-and-mothers-7039806)
Published: 2025-12-02T05:41:07+00:00
Episode link: https://ecologyofintimacy.podbean.com/e/when-how-can-i-help-makes-you-want-to-scream-lets-talk-emotional-labor-adhd-and-the-fair-play-solution-with-dr-regina-lark/
Audio file: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/p73ms8fqbf7yuepn/ReginaLarkPodcast.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast-sex-love-intimacy-relationship-coaching-for-women-and-mothers-7039806/episodes/when-how-can-i-help-makes-you-want-to-scream-let-s-talk-emotional-labor-adhd-and-the-fair-play-solution-with-dr-regina-lark
Duration seconds: 2662

## Resource

Join me in this powerful conversation with Dr. Regina Lark about the invisible work that keeps all our homes and lives running, but that ultimately leaves us completely exhausted. In this episode, we dive deep into emotional labor, and the mental load, and why as women, we're constantly doing the behind-the-scenes work that no one sees or values. Dr Regina has a PhD in women's history and runs a professional organizing and move management company, and she brings a refreshing perspective on the work of household management, decluttering, and the cognitive skills required to keep everything together and running smoothly. We talk about the reality of being the "default parent," the one who's always doing the mental math (like figuring out if we need to to feed the kids by 5:30pm so we can get to the sitter by 6pm so we can make it to that 7pm concert). Sound familiar? Yeah, me too! Regina explains how the work we do at home requires the exact same executive function skills that professionals use in the workplace and that business leaders require to succeed, skills like; planning, processing, sequencing, time management. Yet somehow when we're doing it at home, it's dismissed as "just women's work" or a "labor of love" instead of being recognized as the actual labor and never-ending workload that it is. We also get into ADHD in women, chronic disorganization, and why so many of us are just now discovering we've been struggling with executive function challenges our whole lives. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by clutter, asked permission to throw something away, or wondered why your partner doesn't just see what needs to be done, then this conversation is for you. Regina introduces the concept of radical delegation and shares the game-changing Fair Play method (with actual…

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