# Ep 18: Breaking the Pattern - How One Dad Rewired His Approach to Raising Kids

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-dad-manual-7554137/ep-18-breaking-the-pattern-how-one-dad-rewired-his-approach-to-raising-kids
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-dad-manual-7554137/ep-18-breaking-the-pattern-how-one-dad-rewired-his-approach-to-raising-kids.md
Podcast: [The Dad Manual](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-dad-manual-7554137)
Published: 2026-04-28T11:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://share.transistor.fm/s/a44ea983
Audio file: https://media.transistor.fm/a44ea983/80122ebd.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-dad-manual-7554137/episodes/ep-18-breaking-the-pattern-how-one-dad-rewired-his-approach-to-raising-kids
Duration seconds: 2888

## Resource

Two decades in, Kevin Button is still learning — and that's exactly what makes him a great dad. Kevin Button is a father of three spanning 21 years in age, and one of Tony Cooper's closest friends in fatherhood. In this conversation, Kevin gets brutally honest about who he was as a young father — ego-driven, reactive, and repeating patterns he never consciously chose — and how a quiet moment with his 3-year-old son completely broke him open. Kevin and Tony dig into the long game of raising kids: what changes between your first and third child, why the ego is the enemy of good fathering, and how becoming the dad you want to be is a daily, conscious act. They also talk about the rare gift of a trusted fatherhood community, the role of sports in building character, and why presence is the single greatest thing you can give a child. This is the kind of real, unfiltered fatherhood podcast conversation that sticks with you — whether you're 10 minutes into the dad journey or 20 years deep. Key Takeaways: Your first child takes the brunt of who you were before you did the work — and that's a call to action, not a reason for guilt. Emotion is a compass. When something doesn't feel right in how you're parenting, that discomfort is pointing you somewhere important. The ego is one of the biggest obstacles to becoming a great father. Learning to put it down is a skill. Children love unconditionally — and watching that play out in real time can be the most powerful catalyst for change. Presence isn't passive. It's a disciplined, conscious effort — and it's worth more than any material thing you can give a child. Parenting evolves across your kids. Who you were raising your first child is rarely who you are by the third. Your kids are watching everything: how you carry yourself in pu…

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## Transcript

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