# What to do when your kid says I hate you with Tania and Tammy, Episode #169 Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tammy-episode-169 Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tammy-episode-169.md Podcast: [The Child Psych Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916) Published: 2026-02-11T12:54:43+00:00 Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/the-child-psych-podcast/episodes/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tamm Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6728bc98580049df8ffc39c7/e/698a034341bb4de491f4c4ee/media.mp3 Processing state: not_requested JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916/episodes/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tammy-episode-169 Duration seconds: 1320 ## Resource In this episode, Tammy Schamuhn and Tania Johnson tackle one of the most painful moments in parenting: when your child looks at you and says, “I hate you.” Those words can sting, shock, and even shake your confidence as a parent. But Tammy and Tania explain why this moment is far less about hatred — and far more about big feelings, overwhelmed nervous systems, and developing brains that don’t yet have the skills to say what they truly mean. You’ll learn what’s actually happening beneath those words, why kids often say this to the people they feel safest with, and how your response in that moment can either escalate the situation or help your child return to regulation. In this conversation, we cover: • why “I hate you” is often a sign of emotional overload, not disrespect • how brain development limits kids’ ability to express complex feelings • what not to say in the moment • how to stay calm when you feel hurt or triggered 👀 Something Big Is Coming for Parents… We’re launching The Parent Coach — and trust us, you’re going to want this in your back pocket. More details soon! The 2026 ICP Parenting Summit is coming! Join us March 16–19 for 35+ expert masterclasses and four interactive half-day workshops, featuring leading voices like Ross Greene, Laura Markham, Robert Melillo, Lawrence Cohen, Kim John Payne, and Jon Fogel. We’ll be diving into the topics parents need most: screens, discipline, anxiety, emotional regulation, neurodiversity, resilience, play, and more. The summit is completely free, and VIP packages include lifetime access, toolkits, certificates, and a digital copy of  The Parenting Handbook . Click here to save your seat! • how to repair and reconnect after the storm has passed • ways to build emotional skills so thes… ## Actions - request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916/episodes/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tammy-episode-169/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode. - read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-child-psych-podcast-5748916/what-to-do-when-your-kid-says-i-hate-you-with-tania-and-tammy-episode-169.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource. A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed. ## Transcript Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.