# Episode 268 | The Bustometer

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-burt-selleck-podcast-1245946/episode-268-the-bustometer
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-burt-selleck-podcast-1245946/episode-268-the-bustometer.md
Podcast: [The Burt Selleck Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-burt-selleck-podcast-1245946)
Published: 2025-12-29T01:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://burtselleckpod.com/
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/7977de96-a552-41af-8754-e0e6941968d0.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-burt-selleck-podcast-1245946/episodes/episode-268-the-bustometer
Duration seconds: 3944

## Resource

This one-hour episode of The Burt Selleck Podcast is a grimy, funny, totally undisciplined mess—in other words, exactly what fans expect. It opens mid-conversation and dives headfirst into a heady mix of lemonhead consumption strategies, hyper-specific butt talk, bizarre sports science, and group therapy for Detroit Lions fans. The episode’s standout moment? The invention of the Bustometer —a ghost-hunting, cum-detecting suppository that somehow becomes a 10-minute conversation about NFL performance metrics and supernatural prostate access. It’s like Shark Tank for people who haven’t slept in three days and just watched Death Stranding . Structurally, the episode is pure entropy, with the group ping-ponging from childhood sour candy trauma to haunted sex toys to poorly-disguised thirst for Herman Miller chairs. The second half dips a bit into local show plugs and inside-baseball stuff, but it never fully abandons its degeneracy. Would I recommend it? For returning listeners, absolutely. It’s a highlight reel of the podcast’s most unhinged tendencies. For newcomers—listen at your own risk. If you make it through the Bustometer segment without flinching, you might have found your people.

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## Transcript

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