# Ep 133: Why Waiting Until You’re Ready Rarely Works | Rethinking Alcohol |

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-big-drink-rethink-6691442/ep-133-why-waiting-until-you-re-ready-rarely-works-rethinking-alcohol
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-big-drink-rethink-6691442/ep-133-why-waiting-until-you-re-ready-rarely-works-rethinking-alcohol.md
Podcast: [The Big Drink Rethink](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-big-drink-rethink-6691442)
Published: 2026-07-23T01:30:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/podcast
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/31be4dc2-8d6b-4024-86c3-f1f16c0febe0.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-big-drink-rethink-6691442/episodes/ep-133-why-waiting-until-you-re-ready-rarely-works-rethinking-alcohol
Duration seconds: 3047

## Resource

What if the real reason you feel stuck around drinking isn't a lack of willpower or information, but simply that your thinking can't yet see another way? Anna Donaghey is joined by Doug Fleener, author of "Start with What If" and creator of the "What If Rule", a simple, three-step practice for creating new perspectives in real time. Drawing on his own journey from addiction to leadership roles at Bose Corporation, Doug shares how change really happens: through interruption, curiosity, and asking different questions. Together, he and Anna explore why curiosity trumps willpower, and how tiny shifts - like asking, "What if I just didn't drink today?" can unlock entirely new possibilities. Here are the Highlights: 00:00 Welcome to The Big Drink Rethink 00:45 What if what keeps you stuck isn’t willpower? 01:01 Meet Doug Fleener 02:14 The “What If Rule”: change in real time, not ‘someday’ 03:23 Doug’s 30,000ft wake-up call 06:09 The power of interruptions and rock bottoms 07:11 Why it feels easier to change your state than change your life 15:15 The real impact of asking “What if I didn’t drink just today?” 16:21 Why avoiding forever/never thinking makes change possible 17:47 “I’ll tackle it when I’m ready” - and how action actually creates clarity 23:10 The What If Rule explained: Pause, Question, Go 31:43 Why one pause matters even if you still have the drink 33:13 How identity, habit, and depletion drive drinking autopilot 37:52 Future journaling: setting intentions for who you want to be 41:12 Drinking as a default off-switch for discomfort 43:08 How to sit with feelings (instead of pushing them down) 45:42 “Nobody ever wishes they drank more” 46:47 The permission to start small 49:12 You don’t need a plan, just the next question. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? R…

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