# 172: Gentle Strength Parenting with Vince Benevento (Boys Will Be Men author & therapist)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-better-man-podcast-5344990/172-gentle-strength-parenting-with-vince-benevento-boys-will-be-men-author-therapist
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-better-man-podcast-5344990/172-gentle-strength-parenting-with-vince-benevento-boys-will-be-men-author-therapist.md
Podcast: [The Better Man Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-better-man-podcast-5344990)
Published: 2026-05-15T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://f6d0de76-c646-4c1b-a139-27635e6276b3.libsyn.com/172-gentle-strength-parenting-with-vince-benevento-boys-will-be-men-author-therapist
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/f6d0de76-c646-4c1b-a139-27635e6276b3/Ep._172_-_Vince_B_2_-_The_Better_Man_Podcast.mp3?dest-id=3345071
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-better-man-podcast-5344990/episodes/172-gentle-strength-parenting-with-vince-benevento-boys-will-be-men-author-therapist
Duration seconds: 3284

## Resource

There are a lot of ways that fathers get in their own way of being a great parent. Sometimes it wears the mask of "self-improvement." Sometimes it gamifies your presence. And sometimes, it's a desire to overcorrect your parents' mistakes. In many ways, it's much harder to be a father today than ever before too. Gender roles are more fluid than they were in previous generations (but there's still value in distinguishing gender roles). Fathers are forced to feel through their feelings when it comes more naturally to think through them. And balancing the climate of your home, the relationship with your partner, and your responsibilities at work can lead to burnout. That's why I was personally excited for today's follow-up discussion with Boys Will Be Men author and therapist and fellow father, Vince Benevento. Vince answers all my toughest questions around: The Gentle Strength method to become a stronger, and gentler, parent How to be better at accepting yourself as you are today instead of who you'll become after hitting another milestone How to better divvy up the balance of traditional and modern gender roles to best benefit your entire home And more, including… Why modern fathers have unique challenges previous generations didn't have (and how to better balance your responsibilities without burning out) (4:28) How your tone, anxiety, and sense of urgency seeps into your climate at home even when it originates from work (6:38) The insidious "Destination Mindset Trap" that stifles your presence when parenting (7:15) Why men in particular are prone to gamifying being present (and why you might be blinded to how this interrupts presence) (9:25) The best thing you can do if you have too much free time that will show you why you're more isolated than you acknowledge (11:43)…

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