# When Love Stops Saving the Relationship: Presence, Self-Abandonment, and Starting Over

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-angry-therapist-podcast-743385/when-love-stops-saving-the-relationship-presence-self-abandonment-and-starting-over
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-angry-therapist-podcast-743385/when-love-stops-saving-the-relationship-presence-self-abandonment-and-starting-over.md
Podcast: [The Angry Therapist Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/the-angry-therapist-podcast-743385)
Published: 2026-06-01T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/441/traffic.megaphone.fm/BVLLC3659256139.mp3
Audio file: https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/441/traffic.megaphone.fm/BVLLC3659256139.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/the-angry-therapist-podcast-743385/episodes/when-love-stops-saving-the-relationship-presence-self-abandonment-and-starting-over
Duration seconds: 1355

## Resource

What if the thing you keep chasing isn’t actually better... just more familiar? In this solo Q&A episode, John Kim reflects on fantasy, gratitude, emotional presence, and the difference between intensity and real love. From surfing in Costa Rica to answering listener questions about confidence, breakups, infidelity, and self-abandonment in relationships, this episode explores what happens when you stop escaping yourself and start paying attention to what’s actually here. Key points covered: • Why we romanticize the past and overlook the present • The difference between intensity and consistency in love • How healthy relationships create clarity instead of confusion • What confidence actually comes from • Signs you may be abandoning yourself in a relationship • Whether couples can rebuild after infidelity If this episode helped you, send it to someone who may need to hear it. Follow, rate, and share the podcast to support the show. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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## Transcript

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