# The Relational Toll of ADHD Over Time with Dr. Dodge Rea Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692/the-relational-toll-of-adhd-over-time-with-dr-dodge-rea Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692/the-relational-toll-of-adhd-over-time-with-dr-dodge-rea.md Podcast: [Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692) Published: 2026-03-05T11:00:00+00:00 Episode link: https://share.transistor.fm/s/1c56c08a Audio file: https://op3.dev/e/media.transistor.fm/1c56c08a/7ec1f08e.mp3 Processing state: not_requested JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692/episodes/the-relational-toll-of-adhd-over-time-with-dr-dodge-rea Duration seconds: 2742 ## Resource It's not the blow-ups that do the most damage in a relationship — it's the quieter stuff. The look you misread, the deadline you missed again, the apology you've given so many times it stopped meaning anything. For those of us with ADHD, these small misconnections harden faster because we arrive already carrying a lifetime of being told we're too much or not enough. Dr. Dodge Rea is back to help us name what's really happening beneath the surface when relationships start to calcify. Dodge walks us through the concept of misattunement — the challenge of being both intact and in touch at the same time — and why ADHD brains and neurotypical brains can miss each other without anyone being at fault. He shares a powerful reframe: "It's not your fault and it's not your fate, but it is yours." Both partners have ownership work to do, and it starts with putting down the shame long enough to actually talk about what's hard. From the kitchen stepladder analogy to his expanded Ferrari metaphor, Dodge offers language that makes the invisible patterns in ADHD relationships finally feel speakable. Pete and Nikki bring their own experiences to the table — Pete on the fear of being "generalized forgetful" and Nikki on the compassion required from the non-ADHD partner. Together they explore why shame makes everything about your value, how all-or-nothing thinking accelerates the spiral, and what it looks like to meet your experience with authenticity instead of defensiveness. Links & Notes Support the Show on Patreon Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:57) - The Relational Toll of ADHD over Time with Dr. Dodge Rea (04:39) - Misattunement (17:25) - Conflict (26:45) - The 5'2" Story (39:49) - What Does The Work Look Like? ★… ## Actions - request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692/episodes/the-relational-toll-of-adhd-over-time-with-dr-dodge-rea/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode. - read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/taking-control-the-adhd-podcast-386692/the-relational-toll-of-adhd-over-time-with-dr-dodge-rea.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource. A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed. ## Transcript Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.