# #060 Resilience Can Be Learned: The 4-Part FUEL Model with Dr. Rose Aghdami

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sit-around-the-fire-7092992/060-resilience-can-be-learned-the-4-part-fuel-model-with-dr-rose-aghdami
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sit-around-the-fire-7092992/060-resilience-can-be-learned-the-4-part-fuel-model-with-dr-rose-aghdami.md
Podcast: [Sit Around the Fire](https://stenobird.com/podcast/sit-around-the-fire-7092992)
Published: 2026-07-27T18:25:35+00:00
Episode link: https://api.riverside.com/hosting-analytics/media/8f2301e9cdb6cee594c2cdc61b82d238e0b5f28439b18f243402badb55818a35/eyJlcGlzb2RlSWQiOiJjZTNiMzk2Ni0yNDllLTQzYmItYTUyNy00ODgzY2RmNGIwZWYiLCJwb2RjYXN0SWQiOiJhMWE4OTQwMi0zY2IyLTRkMGUtODI3MS0xZGMzZjkxOTU0NTgiLCJhY2NvdW50SWQiOiI2OTFiODUwMTcyODQxMTU2YjI2M2VmY2QiLCJwYXRoIjoibWVkaWEvY2xpcHMvNmE1NWEzNWQxYzEzOGVlNTEwZjY0YjllL2FzaGxlYS1kaWxsYXJkcy1zdHVkaW8tY29tcG9zZXItMjAyNi03LTE0X180LTQ3LTU3Lm1wMyJ9.mp3
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Duration seconds: 3111

## Resource

What if resilience is not about being tougher, pushing harder, or pretending that difficult things do not affect you? What if resilience is actually a collection of skills that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened? In this episode of Sit Around the Fire , Ashlea sits down with Dr. Rose Aghdami, coaching psychologist, resilience specialist, and author of How to FUEL Your Resilience , to explore what it really means to become more resilient. Dr. Rose introduces her practical FUEL Your Resilience framework and explains how flexibility, the use of resources, energy, and an internal locus of control can help us respond more effectively to life’s challenges. Together, Ashlea and Dr. Rose talk about the patterns that often make resilience more difficult, including perfectionism, emotional avoidance, rigid thinking, unrealistic expectations, and the pressure to maintain control. They also discuss why accepting our emotions does not mean allowing those emotions to control us, how vulnerability can become a source of strength, and why “good enough” may be one of the most freeing phrases a high-achieving person can learn. In this episode, you will learn: • Why resilience is a learnable skill rather than a fixed personality trait • The four elements of the FUEL Your Resilience framework • How flexibility helps us navigate uncertainty and change • Why using available resources is a strength, not a weakness • How perfectionism and rigid thinking can undermine resilience • The difference between experiencing a feeling and treating it as a fact • How to develop a stronger internal locus of control • Why self-compassion and consistent practice matter • How resilient people create a fuller, calmer, and more meaningful life • Why strengthening yourself allows you to support others…

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