# Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Another Chore

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon-5845078/why-sex-starts-feeling-like-another-chore
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon-5845078/why-sex-starts-feeling-like-another-chore.md
Podcast: [Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon](https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon-5845078)
Published: 2026-05-11T05:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://heathershannon.co/podcast/
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/episodes.captivate.fm/episode/bf2631cf-7407-42e7-8a4a-451a24fe9fba.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon-5845078/episodes/why-sex-starts-feeling-like-another-chore
Duration seconds: 2724

## Resource

If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you. Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to. In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn passionate relationships into roommate dynamics — including resentment, emotional disconnection, unresolved conflict, and feeling emotionally unsafe with your partner. They also discuss: Why couples stop wanting sex over time The emotional roots of sexless marriages Why unresolved resentment kills intimacy How emotional safety impacts desire Why many couples feel lonely even when they “never fight” The hidden patterns underneath low desire Why sex can start feeling like another chore How couples rebuild emotional and sexual connection Xanet also shares her personal story of surviving a 26-year sexless marriage, healing sexual shame and vaginismus, and eventually becoming a sex and intimacy coach helping couples reconnect emotionally and physically. If you’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected, stuck in resentment, or struggling to understand why attraction has faded in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening underneath the surface. 🎧 Listen now to understand why sex changes in long-term relationships — and what actually helps couples feel close again. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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## Transcript

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