# Permission at 70: Sex, Silence, and Starting Again

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-advice-for-seniors-podcast-5576148/permission-at-70-sex-silence-and-starting-again
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-advice-for-seniors-podcast-5576148/permission-at-70-sex-silence-and-starting-again.md
Podcast: [Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/sex-advice-for-seniors-podcast-5576148)
Published: 2026-03-04T16:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-lie-we-tell-women-about-desire
Audio file: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/prfx.byspotify.com/e/api.substack.com/feed/podcast/184404284/e52e900186ed608e103fc958d2cfac60.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/sex-advice-for-seniors-podcast-5576148/episodes/permission-at-70-sex-silence-and-starting-again
Duration seconds: 1930

## Resource

You’re not past it. You may even be approaching your peak. A psychiatrist just told me that women tend to reach their highest sexual satisfaction at 64. I’m 64. And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the opposite message, that desire fades, that this is the time to wind down, that the body just stops cooperating. Dr. Shila Patel has been listening to patients talk about sex, relationships, and desire for 25 years. She grew up in Kenya, went to medical school in England, and spent the bulk of her career practicing psychiatry in the American South before retiring at 51. When the pandemic hit and the Me Too movement was at its peak, she started writing. Two books later, she’s on a mission to reach people that one-on-one clinical work never could. She’s also nearly 70, still sexually active, and completely unapologetic about both. What struck me most in our conversation wasn’t just the 64 statistic - which I found astounding (I hadn’t ever heard before!), it was the context. Because while women are approaching their sexual peak, men are often stepping back. Erectile dysfunction, reduced interest, withdrawal. Dr. Patel saw this pattern constantly in clinical practice, and she sees it in her own life and I’ve certainly seen it in my own. Women in her condominium complex, all roughly her age, laugh and joke about it. It’s a real thing. And most women, she says, just go quiet and accept it. That acceptance is partly cultural. Dr. Patel grew up in Indian culture, where sex was not discussed. Full stop. Not by parents, not between siblings, not even now. At 70, she and her sister have never once discussed whether either has had an orgasm. She described watching a preview of a Bollywood film where a group of women, talking about an upcoming wedding, couldn’t form the wor…

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## Transcript

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