# 388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411/388-why-fairness-is-destroying-your-relationship
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411/388-why-fairness-is-destroying-your-relationship.md
Podcast: [Relationships Made Easy](https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411)
Published: 2026-06-23T02:00:54+00:00
Episode link: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-relationships-why-it-backfires
Audio file: https://audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/b0f5e90c-582a-42fa-b0ed-07ad49ead0d1/stream.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/relationships-made-easy-1024411/episodes/388-why-fairness-is-destroying-your-relationship
Duration seconds: 2729

## Resource

That's not fair. You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading this, trying to figure out how to make things better, and why are you always the one who has to make changes when they're not doing anything? That's not fair either. Fairness is one of the most universal thoughts humans have. And it's also one of the most quietly destructive forces in a relationship. Today, I'm going to show you why the fairness argument keeps you stuck, what the research says about what's happening in your brain when things feel unfair, and the one question that will change everything the next time you feel the resentment starting to build. You're going to leave this episode with a completely different way of thinking about fairness, and I promise it's going to change how you show up in every relationship in your life. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-relationships-why-it-backfires Grab The Fairness Reframe: The One Question That Stops Resentment Before It Starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-reframe Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack . You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundar…

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## Transcript

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