# 379. You're Not Overreacting. Here's What's Actually Happening.

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411/379-you-re-not-overreacting-here-s-what-s-actually-happening
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411/379-you-re-not-overreacting-here-s-what-s-actually-happening.md
Podcast: [Relationships Made Easy](https://stenobird.com/podcast/relationships-made-easy-1024411)
Published: 2026-04-20T23:00:26+00:00
Episode link: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-overreact-in-relationships
Audio file: https://audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/b7a0219e-e9ac-4780-a1df-9435fecea570/stream.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/relationships-made-easy-1024411/episodes/379-you-re-not-overreacting-here-s-what-s-actually-happening
Duration seconds: 2013

## Resource

You snapped at your partner over something small, and you already know it wasn't really about that. You've gotten defensive with your mom, shut down with your boss, pulled away from a friend, and each time there's that same moment afterward where you think: why did I react like that? The shame of it is exhausting. And the confusing part is that you can't always explain it, even to yourself. Today I'm giving you a new lens, not a replacement for everything you already know about yourself, but something more precise. Because there's a difference between knowing you got triggered and knowing exactly which need just got threatened. And that precision? It changes what you do next. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-overreact-in-relationships Download the Need Threat Identifier: https://abbymedcalf.com/need-threat-identifier . It walks you through all three needs, what a threat to each one looks and feels like across different relationships, and the one question to ask yourself when you feel activated. Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack . You'll get... ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby _________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Marrie…

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## Transcript

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