# 144: 2 Ways You're Seeking Other People's Attention (Without Noticing)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/reclamation-radio-with-kelly-brogan-md-5972193/144-2-ways-you-re-seeking-other-people-s-attention-without-noticing
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/reclamation-radio-with-kelly-brogan-md-5972193/144-2-ways-you-re-seeking-other-people-s-attention-without-noticing.md
Podcast: [Reclamation Radio with Kelly Brogan MD](https://stenobird.com/podcast/reclamation-radio-with-kelly-brogan-md-5972193)
Published: 2026-01-27T05:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://share.transistor.fm/s/4474a334
Audio file: https://media.transistor.fm/4474a334/480b67ca.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/reclamation-radio-with-kelly-brogan-md-5972193/episodes/144-2-ways-you-re-seeking-other-people-s-attention-without-noticing
Duration seconds: 792

## Resource

Get instant access to Kelly's Beauty Backroom here: KellyBroganMD.com If you feel the need to always speak your opinions, you might be “addicted” to seeking the attention of others. In this episode, I unpack one of the most charged questions I hear: how to tell whether you’re self abandoning or actually accepting reality. There are subtle ways codependency shows up, even in people who think they’re being calm, spiritual, or evolved… especially when silence becomes a strategy. Over-speaking and under-speaking, and how both can be driven by the same nervous system impulse, are two common patterns I see again and again. We talk about anxious attachment, avoidant tendencies, and the “giving to get” dynamic that drains your sense of self. You’ll also hear why trying to get someone else to see your perspective often costs more than it gives, and how real boundaries begin with knowing what you want, not managing how others live their lives. This conversation is for anyone tired of performing self-control while feeling internally split, and ready to build self-trust that doesn’t depend on being understood. You’ll Learn: [00:00] Introduction [01:02] The difference between self-abandonment and letting others live their lives [02:14] Why “giving to get” turns both silence and speaking up into self-betrayal [03:21] The subtle ways codependency hides inside helping, supporting, or being reasonable [04:28] What’s really happening when you need someone else to see your perspective [05:46] How anxious attachment drives over-explaining without meeting your actual needs [07:12] When withdrawal and invisibility start to look like maturity while eroding self-trust [09:03] How to recognize when your voice is coming from control instead of self-attunement [11:01] Why real boundaries start w…

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## Transcript

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