# #4 The pressure to fit in and finding energy in our own way

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/queers-with-accents-7747041/4-the-pressure-to-fit-in-and-finding-energy-in-our-own-way
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/queers-with-accents-7747041/4-the-pressure-to-fit-in-and-finding-energy-in-our-own-way.md
Podcast: [Queers with Accents](https://stenobird.com/podcast/queers-with-accents-7747041)
Published: 2026-03-24T06:46:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queerswithaccents/episodes/4-The-pressure-to-fit-in-and-finding-energy-in-our-own-way-e3kn3kk
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/113ab0284/podcast/play/121392212/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-5-12%2F426026425-44100-2-fd60b7639e92.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/queers-with-accents-7747041/episodes/4-the-pressure-to-fit-in-and-finding-energy-in-our-own-way
Duration seconds: 2279

## Resource

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life , a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge , a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Changing hair color with products like color shampoo and treatment, and reminiscing about having vivid hair colors in the past. * The social perceptions of having unconventional hair, particularly how it can be viewed differently based on age, gender presentation, and cultural environment (such as in Japan versus abroad). * Navigating middle age, including feelings of being “on the verge” of aging, the balance between holding onto youth and accepting the aging process smoothly. * Physical challenges and new activities, such as pole dancing and fire performance (including fire eating), and the bruises that come with practice. * The concept of introversion versus extroversion, with one speaker identifying as a talkative introvert who needs alone time to recharge, while the other identifies as more outgoing and energized by social activities and new experiences. * Learning new vocabulary, including the words “verge,” “click” (as in forming a connection), “allocate,” and the difference between “introvert” and “extrovert.” * Running a restaurant business, managing multiple roles (server, bartender, problem-solver), and the goal of allocating tasks to new hires to balance the workload. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ * Her book: https://amzn…

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## Transcript

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