# Understanding PDA: Strategies for your "demand-avoidant" child (Reissue)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/project-parenthood-439160/understanding-pda-strategies-for-your-demand-avoidant-child-reissue
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/project-parenthood-439160/understanding-pda-strategies-for-your-demand-avoidant-child-reissue.md
Podcast: [Project Parenthood](https://stenobird.com/podcast/project-parenthood-439160)
Published: 2026-04-06T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/project-parenthood/episodes/understanding-pda-strategies-for-your-demand-avoidant-child
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/69c14a28007cdcf83fc2137c/e/69cd9daf3908885dc4f3a9d0/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/project-parenthood-439160/episodes/understanding-pda-strategies-for-your-demand-avoidant-child-reissue
Duration seconds: 900

## Resource

678. Does your child have an extreme, almost involuntary need for control? If everyday requests—like putting on shoes or eating breakfast—trigger an immediate fight-or-flight response, you might be parenting a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). In this episode that first ran in June of 2022, Dr. Nanika Coor dives deep into the PDA profile, a specific symptom profile often associated with the Autism Spectrum (ASD). She explains why traditional "rewards and consequences" parenting often fails these children and how their behavior is actually a drive for safety, not a choice of defiance. You’ll learn: What is PDA? The science behind the anxiety-based need for autonomy. The "Stress Bucket" Metaphor: How to visualize your child’s capacity for demands and prevent overflows (meltdowns). 8 De-escalation Strategies: Why declarative language and humor work better than direct commands. The Power of Co-regulation: How to shift your mindset from "making them obey" to "helping them feel safe." Whether your child has a formal diagnosis or you’re simply struggling with a kiddo who is "extra resistant" to routine, this episode offers the respectful parenting tools you need to repair your connection and find calm in your home. Project Parenthood is a Quick and Dirty Tips  podcast, hosted by Dr. Nanika Coor.  Have a question for Project Parenthood? Email: parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com Discover more from Project Parenthood! Facebook Newsletter Transcripts available on your podcast app. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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## Transcript

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