# Episode 188 | "You Were Never There" (Feat. Nikki Lozano)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/permission-to-speak-freely-1367995/episode-188-you-were-never-there-feat-nikki-lozano
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/permission-to-speak-freely-1367995/episode-188-you-were-never-there-feat-nikki-lozano.md
Podcast: [Permission To Speak Freely](https://stenobird.com/podcast/permission-to-speak-freely-1367995)
Published: 2026-05-11T03:40:00+00:00
Episode link: https://ptsfpodcast.podbean.com/e/episode-188-you-were-never-there-feat-nikki-lozano/
Audio file: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/wjmp6c3i78yzi5gt/Episode_188_You_Were_Never_There_Feat_Nikki_Lozano_a3dwy.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/permission-to-speak-freely-1367995/episodes/episode-188-you-were-never-there-feat-nikki-lozano
Duration seconds: 8614

## Resource

Retired NCCS Nikki Lozano joins the guys for one of the most personal and powerful conversations the podcast has ever had. Nikki reflects on her early days as a Personnelman (PN), the differences between the early 2000s Navy and today’s Navy, and what it was like to be one of the first women assigned to an all-male ship. Before the Navy, she opens up about growing up in Utah in a trailer park, navigating an abusive household, the complicated lessons she learned from her father, and the mindset that ultimately pushed her toward military service. The conversation moves through battle stations, Norfolk memories, life aboard USS Cole, leadership after the attack, and Nikki’s firsthand account of the October 12, 2000, terrorist attack. She also speaks candidly about PTSD, sexual abuse, physical abuse, trauma at follow-on commands, and the way those experiences permanently changed how she viewed drills, leadership, and survival. As the episode continues, Nikki discusses motherhood, the conversation with her daughter that ultimately led to her retirement decision, life after the Navy, becoming a realtor in the Hampton Roads area, and the healing journey that inspired her memoir, Grit and Grind: A Veteran’s Journey to Healing. The crew also talks veteran storytelling, whether more veterans should lead recruiting efforts, the importance of transparency from leadership, and how stories can help people feel seen, understood, and less alone. These and many more topics are discussed in this episode. About Our Guest: Retired Navy Senior Chief Nikki Lozano served over 21 years in the United States Navy, beginning her career as a Personnelman (PN) before later converting to Navy Counselor (NCC). She was also a crew member aboard USS Cole (DDG 67) during the terrorist attack on October…

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## Transcript

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