# ~161~"The Real Reason Teens Lie (It’s Not What You Think)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/parenting-teens-advice-redefined-for-today-s-complex-world-6718008/161-the-real-reason-teens-lie-it-s-not-what-you-think
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/parenting-teens-advice-redefined-for-today-s-complex-world-6718008/161-the-real-reason-teens-lie-it-s-not-what-you-think.md
Podcast: [Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World](https://stenobird.com/podcast/parenting-teens-advice-redefined-for-today-s-complex-world-6718008)
Published: 2026-04-04T01:07:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podopshosting.com/65777cadcf3fc/episode/62009
Audio file: https://mypodops-hosting-production.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/podcasts/2138/videos/1775264171395-WTF-_Lying.mp4
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/parenting-teens-advice-redefined-for-today-s-complex-world-6718008/episodes/161-the-real-reason-teens-lie-it-s-not-what-you-think
Duration seconds: 540

## Resource

In this unfiltered WTF (Welcome to Friday) episode, Cheryl Pankhurst dives into one of the most frustrating parenting challenges: teen lying —and the uncomfortable truth parents need to hear. Inspired by insights from Dr. Becky Kennedy, this episode reframes everything you think you know about dishonesty in teens. 👉 What if your teen isn’t lying to deceive you… 👉 What if they’re lying to protect themselves? Cheryl breaks down how common parenting habits—like asking questions we already know the answers to—actually create a “test” instead of building trust . And here’s the shift: ➡️ When teens feel tested, they go into self-preservation mode ➡️ When teens feel safe, they move toward honesty and connection In this episode, you’ll learn: Why asking “Where were you?” can backfire instantly How parents unintentionally set teens up to lie The difference between curiosity vs. control What to say instead when you already know the truth How to create a home where honesty feels safer than lying The powerful mindset shift: the lie is not the problem—it’s the symptom A simple reframe you can use immediately: Instead of: “Were you at the library?” Try: “I know you went to the movies tonight. I’m not here to come at you—I just want to understand what happened.” No traps. No tests. Just connection. Because this isn’t about controlling your teen’s behavior… It’s about the environment we’re creating as parents. 💬 Key Takeaway If we want honest kids, we have to become the place where truth feels safe —not risky. 📣 Call to Action If this episode hit home, share it with another parent who needs this shift. And if you’re ready to change the dynamic in your home, connect with Cheryl for support at: 👉 www.cherylpankhurst.com #ParentingTeens #TeenLying #ParentingTips #ConsciousParenting #Teen…

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## Transcript

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