# Permission to Stop Toning Yourself Down | Laurens | Ep 958

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Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/outlier-s-edge-podcast-with-niiamah-ashong-699880/permission-to-stop-toning-yourself-down-laurens-ep-958.md
Podcast: [Outlier's Edge Podcast with Niiamah Ashong](https://stenobird.com/podcast/outlier-s-edge-podcast-with-niiamah-ashong-699880)
Published: 2026-05-13T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://niiamahashong.com
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/c3ce3939-a299-4c8a-a898-8101e910a526.mp3
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Duration seconds: 3024

## Resource

"I've been modulating the intensity out of fear of overdoing it." – Laurens Join Niiamah (@niiamahashong) and Laurens, an Agile management consultant and graphic facilitator, in a rare live throwback coaching conversation that goes somewhere most podcasts never reach. Laurens has spent his life being extraordinary for others and this episode exposes exactly why that's been costing him. The reframe that lands: being selfish isn't a betrayal of the people you serve. It's the prerequisite. From owning your intensity to giving yourself permission to need something, this episode is for the outlier who's been told they're too much and secretly knows they've been holding back. Watch what happens when you stop modulating. Welcome to the Outlier's Edge Podcast, hosted by Niiamah Ashong, Founder of Outlier's Edge and Sherpa of the World of Difference. On this podcast, you'll join other high-performing unconventional leaders and entrepreneurs (aka Outliers) as they talk about leveraging what makes them different to make a difference in the world. --Check out the video episode on YouTube !-- Timestamps: 0:00 — Owning what makes you different 6:18 — Meet Laurens the intense one 7:17 — Day job vs real calling 13:47 — Intensity is not the problem 16:07 — Stop dialing yourself back down 20:40 — One hour sea-change moment 31:14 — How practice locks in change 36:51 — The life-changing question asked 39:14 — Close your eyes breathe in 40:58 — Permission to be selfish finally Follow Outlier's Edge Socials: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Youtube | Website | Guild Community

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