# Why Giving Kids Control Is the Secret to Calming Them Down

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/now-i-get-it-with-dr-andy-6931085/why-giving-kids-control-is-the-secret-to-calming-them-down
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/now-i-get-it-with-dr-andy-6931085/why-giving-kids-control-is-the-secret-to-calming-them-down.md
Podcast: [Now I Get It, with Dr. Andy](https://stenobird.com/podcast/now-i-get-it-with-dr-andy-6931085)
Published: 2026-04-09T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/now-i-get-it-with-dr-andy/episodes/why-giving-kids-control-is-the-secret-to-calming-them-down
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/665f291eaa134f001225717a/e/69d4ab95d2e95f51318dba2b/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/now-i-get-it-with-dr-andy-6931085/episodes/why-giving-kids-control-is-the-secret-to-calming-them-down
Duration seconds: 921

## Resource

Every parent has been there — the meltdown, the screaming, the feeling that nothing you say or do is going to get through. This week, I sat down again with early childhood expert Angela MacEwen, whose decades of experience caring for children (including those who've experienced significant trauma) have given her a remarkably clear-eyed understanding of what kids actually need in their most challenging moments. Welcome to Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Angela walks us through some of the most practical and surprisingly simple strategies for helping children regulate their emotions — from redirecting a screaming child by giving them a job to do, to why you should never try to reason with a toddler mid-tantrum. We also get into the big stuff: why a motel pool beats Disneyland every time, why finding a roly poly on the way to school might be your child's core memory of the year, and how nurturing children — especially those who've experienced hardship — is just as healing for the caregiver as it is for the child. In this episode, you will learn: (01:02) Why the need for control is at the root of children's tantrums (02:00) How giving kids a simple task can de-escalate even the most intense meltdowns (03:05) Why you should never attempt conflict resolution during a big emotion (03:40) The twins story: how redirecting a furious child to pour water brought his anger back to calm (06:21) Why kids remember the motel pool more than Disneyland  (08:19) How to reframe everyday moments as potential core memories (09:07) Why pajamas at school are fine — and how to address it without an argument  (11:14) How helping others is a powerful antidote to anxiety for adults and children alike Let’s connect! linktr.ee/drprandy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informatio…

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