# People Pleasing Is the Highest Form of Lying

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/not-saving-it-for-later-guiding-women-through-divorce-beyond-7583647/people-pleasing-is-the-highest-form-of-lying
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/not-saving-it-for-later-guiding-women-through-divorce-beyond-7583647/people-pleasing-is-the-highest-form-of-lying.md
Podcast: [Not Saving It For Later - Guiding Women Through Divorce & Beyond](https://stenobird.com/podcast/not-saving-it-for-later-guiding-women-through-divorce-beyond-7583647)
Published: 2026-05-19T04:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hannah-hembree-bell/episodes/People-Pleasing-Is-the-Highest-Form-of-Lying-e3inc9m
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10b02d008/podcast/play/119303926/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-3-30%2F423228191-44100-2-eedaba412496a.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/not-saving-it-for-later-guiding-women-through-divorce-beyond-7583647/episodes/people-pleasing-is-the-highest-form-of-lying
Duration seconds: 4215

## Resource

Season 2 Episode 2: People Pleasing Is the Highest Form of Lying.If "I'll just do it" is your default — at home, with the kids, at work, in your marriage — this is the conversation that's going to wreck you in the best way.Marla Mattenson is Hannah's longtime coach, friend, and one of the most quietly brilliant people she's ever worked with. Former math teacher, doula, body worker, executive coach, and a meditator with 23 years and 23 ten-day silent retreats under her belt. In this episode, Hannah brings you the Marla Greatest Hits — the small, simple shifts that quietly rewire how you communicate, how you set boundaries, and how you stop bleeding yourself dry trying to keep everyone else comfortable.We get into consent in everyday relationships, the difference between a clean yes and a "mushy yes," why people pleasing is technically lying, and the nervous system regulation tools (red, yellow, green) you can actually use the next time you feel agitated, stuck, or about to snap.This one is layered, tender, and weirdly practical. Stay till the end — Marla's takeaway is the line you're going to want on your fridge.Timestamps:- 01:22 — Meet Marla Mattenson: coach, math teacher, doula, body worker- 04:34 — The gift of consent: stop vomiting your truth on people- 05:41 — Clean yes vs. mushy yes (and why we don't proceed through mushy)- 07:05 — Considering the landing: how is what I'm about to say going to land- 10:24 — Where your consent is being trampled and you didn't know it- 12:01 — Lack of consent is the beginning of resentment building- 12:50 — How to practice consent with your kids (and your teen step-kid)- 14:41 — Consent as a micro tool that softens the whole road ahead- 21:22 — Asking is now a good time at work, on calls, with your husband- 22:30 — Suppressed words…

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