# Ep. 217 - Jade Might Wear An American Flag G-String To Riverfest - 07/01/2026

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/noon-hour-of-madness-mayhem-7115753/ep-217-jade-might-wear-an-american-flag-g-string-to-riverfest-07-01-2026
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/noon-hour-of-madness-mayhem-7115753/ep-217-jade-might-wear-an-american-flag-g-string-to-riverfest-07-01-2026.md
Podcast: [Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem](https://stenobird.com/podcast/noon-hour-of-madness-mayhem-7115753)
Published: 2026-07-02T17:17:59+00:00
Episode link: https://share.transistor.fm/s/02837902
Audio file: https://media.transistor.fm/02837902/629ca86c.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/noon-hour-of-madness-mayhem-7115753/episodes/ep-217-jade-might-wear-an-american-flag-g-string-to-riverfest-07-01-2026
Duration seconds: 1231

## Resource

The Wednesday edition of the Noon Hour of Madness & Mayhem immediately derails before the show even officially begins thanks to an accidental "we forgot to hit record" moment that somehow evolves into a deranged archaeological expedition through forgotten internet memes, ancient Vine references, boomers requesting Led Zeppelin, and the horrifying realization that everyone eventually starts saying words like "gadgets and gizmos" without irony. From there, the conversation spirals into autonomous Waymo cars terrorizing society, electric scooters being hurled into rivers, motorized bicycles being declared an affront to civilization, and the nostalgic glory days when stalking your crush simply required a phone book, binoculars, and significantly fewer Ring doorbells. Things become progressively more concerning as everyone reminisces about peeking through windows, beehive hairstyles blocking the view of Salisbury steak dinners, and romantic evenings set to Marvin Gaye playing on a phonograph while admitting this entire discussion probably should've stayed lost forever. As the madness escalates, Josh Tyler wanders into the studio just in time to be roasted for apparently living inside an old library where every room smells like yellowing books, stale cigars, Shakespeare, vinyl records, and whatever mysterious airborne fungus has been quietly shortening lifespans since the nineteenth century. This somehow transitions into Jade's legendary Hooters uniform saga from Warped Tour, speculation about him attending Riverfest in nothing but an American flag G-string, arguments about skeleton physiques wearing booty shorts, and enough Sleep Token and Ghost references to summon an entire army of confused metalheads who accidentally clicked on the podcast expecting exclusive intervi…

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## Transcript

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