# How New Managers Can Receive Feedback Without Getting Defensive

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/new-manager-conversations-with-fexingo-first-90-days-managing-former-peers-and-leadership-basics-7871636/how-new-managers-can-receive-feedback-without-getting-defensive
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/new-manager-conversations-with-fexingo-first-90-days-managing-former-peers-and-leadership-basics-7871636/how-new-managers-can-receive-feedback-without-getting-defensive.md
Podcast: [New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics](https://stenobird.com/podcast/new-manager-conversations-with-fexingo-first-90-days-managing-former-peers-and-leadership-basics-7871636)
Published: 2026-07-11T05:06:09+00:00
Episode link: https://audio.fexingo.com/business/new-manager-conversations/episode-0107.mp3
Audio file: https://audio.fexingo.com/business/new-manager-conversations/episode-0107.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/new-manager-conversations-with-fexingo-first-90-days-managing-former-peers-and-leadership-basics-7871636/episodes/how-new-managers-can-receive-feedback-without-getting-defensive
Duration seconds: 638

## Resource

Episode 107 of New Manager Conversations explores a skill almost nobody teaches: how to accept feedback as a new boss. Lucas and Luna break down the specific psychological triggers that make direct reports hesitate to critique their manager, and why the classic 'feedback is a gift' advice backfires. They unpack a real example from a first-time engineering manager at a midsize SaaS company who learned that her team's silence was not agreement—it was avoidance. The hosts share a practical two-question framework for weekly check-ins that invites honest upward feedback without putting junior team members on the spot. They also discuss the one gesture that consistently reduced defensive reactions in a study of 80 new managers at a Fortune 500 retailer: simply saying 'Thank you. Can you tell me more?' without justifying, explaining, or fixing. If you have ever felt stung by feedback from someone you manage, this episode gives you a repeatable way to turn that moment into trust. #NewManager #Leadership #Feedback #CareerGrowth #Management #UpwardFeedback #PsychologicalSafety #EmotionalIntelligence #FirstTimeManager #TeamTrust #Coaching #WorkplaceCommunication #Careers #Fexingo #FexingoBusiness #BusinessPodcast #LeadershipBasics #ManagerTips Keep every episode free: buymeacoffee.com/fexingo

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## Transcript

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