# The Secret Ingredients for Emotional Regulation

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/the-secret-ingredients-for-emotional-regulation
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/the-secret-ingredients-for-emotional-regulation.md
Podcast: [Neurodiversity Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169)
Published: 2026-04-29T20:38:00+00:00
Episode link: https://neurodiversitypodcast.com/home/2026/4/29/episode-315-the-secret-ingredients-for-emotional-regulation
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/mindmatters/20260429_Neurodiversity_Podcast_Episode_315.mp3?dest-id=643256
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/episodes/the-secret-ingredients-for-emotional-regulation
Duration seconds: 2442

## Resource

When a student or child is dysregulated, adults often focus entirely on finding the right words to say or the appropriate consequence to give. But what if the most critical factor in that interaction isn't the consequence itself, but the energy of the adult delivering it? Dr. Lori Desautels , an educator, researcher, and professor of applied educational neuroscience at Butler University, joins the podcast to reframe how we approach discipline, emotional regulation, and transitions. Her latest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance , emphasizes that true support, whether in a classroom or a living room, must begin with the adult's own nervous system. Emily and Lori discuss why transitions are biologically exhausting, how to build a vocabulary around physical sensations, and why traditional, punitive discipline models often escalate neurodivergent students. Lori also outlines a practical, compassionate framework for repairing ruptures between teachers and students, shifting the focus away from sheer compliance and toward co-regulation. TAKEAWAYS A dysregulated adult cannot effectively regulate a dysregulated child, making the adult's own awareness the first pillar of support. The goal isn't to be perfectly calm all the time, it's to cultivate "embodied awareness," recognizing the physical signs of when your nervous system is activated. Transitions are difficult because the brain consumes significant energy moving from a predictable, comfortable state into new expectations or environments. Effective discipline often requires an adult to offer their grounded nervous system to a child who needs to borrow a little stability. Outward behavior is not necessarily defiance, it's often an indicator that the nervous system is struggling and requires support. Late-diagnosed neurodiverge…

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## Transcript

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