# The Friendship Playbook: Building Connection on Your Own Terms

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/the-friendship-playbook-building-connection-on-your-own-terms
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/the-friendship-playbook-building-connection-on-your-own-terms.md
Podcast: [Neurodiversity Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/neurodiversity-podcast-485169)
Published: 2026-03-11T19:48:00+00:00
Episode link: https://neurodiversitypodcast.com/home/2026/3/11/episode-309-the-friendship-playbook-building-connection-on-your-own-terms
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/mindmatters/20260311_Neurodiversity_Podcast_Episode_309.mp3?dest-id=643256
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/neurodiversity-podcast-485169/episodes/the-friendship-playbook-building-connection-on-your-own-terms
Duration seconds: 2192

## Resource

Why does friendship feel like an intuitive gift for some, but a complex, manual process for others? This week, Emily Kircher-Morris sits down with social-emotional learning expert Caroline Maguire, author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me? and the upcoming Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults . The conversation dismantles the harmful narrative that connection should happen organically, reframing social struggles not as character flaws, but as understandable skill gaps influenced by executive dysfunction and past trauma. They talk about the concept of "Middle School Caroline," the inner child who reacts to perceived slights with high-alert protection, and suggest advice on unmasking, managing rejection sensitivity, and finding "your people" who value compassion over perfect social performance. TAKEAWAYS The "friendship should be easy" narrative fuels unnecessary shame. Connection is a complex skill set, not an innate character trait. Executive dysfunction directly impacts the logistical and emotional labor of maintaining adult relationships. Rejection Sensitivity (RSD) often functions as a protective mechanism whose past social trauma colors present-day perceptions. Unmasking in friendships is a gradual spectrum that requires identifying safe people rather than an all-or-nothing disclosure. Neurodivergent social strengths like info-dumping and deep empathy are valid forms of connection that deserve recognition and framing, rather than suppression. Neurodivergent adults often base social perceptions on the most recent interaction, making objectivity and evidence-based thinking vital for relationship stability. Mental health professionals, join us for our training session, Interpreting Autism Assessment Data in High-Masking and Under-Identified Pres…

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## Transcript

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