# #78: You Can't Regulate What You've Never Examined: The First Step to Emotional Intelligence

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/mpwr-podcast-become-the-leader-you-want-to-follow-7308599/78-you-can-t-regulate-what-you-ve-never-examined-the-first-step-to-emotional-intelligence
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/mpwr-podcast-become-the-leader-you-want-to-follow-7308599/78-you-can-t-regulate-what-you-ve-never-examined-the-first-step-to-emotional-intelligence.md
Podcast: [MPWR Podcast | Become The Leader YOU Want To Follow](https://stenobird.com/podcast/mpwr-podcast-become-the-leader-you-want-to-follow-7308599)
Published: 2026-09-28T04:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://s.gum.fm/s-6a0b524c6072e83f0c524069/rss.art19.com/episodes/48dbf9e1-efa2-42d4-9b60-89143cf413c0.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
Audio file: https://s.gum.fm/s-6a0b524c6072e83f0c524069/rss.art19.com/episodes/48dbf9e1-efa2-42d4-9b60-89143cf413c0.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/mpwr-podcast-become-the-leader-you-want-to-follow-7308599/episodes/78-you-can-t-regulate-what-you-ve-never-examined-the-first-step-to-emotional-intelligence
Duration seconds: 2444

## Resource

Ninety-five percent of people believe they're self-aware. The real number? Closer to 10 to 15 percent. That gap might be the most expensive blind spot in your leadership. As the fourth quarter ramps up, deals need closing, targets need hitting, and pressure pulls every leader's attention outward. In this episode, the first in a new miniseries on self-awareness and self-leadership, Eric Pfeiffer and Dawn Neldon make the case for turning inward when everything around you is demanding the opposite. As Eric puts it, "We can only give to others what we first cultivate internally." The research backs it up. A landmark Cornell and Green Peak Partners study found that self-awareness is the single strongest predictor of overall leadership effectiveness, outperforming IQ and technical skill. Emotional intelligence is estimated to explain roughly 67 percent of what makes leaders effective, and 90 percent of top performers score high in it. Yet most leaders have never been taught how to actually practice it. In this episode, you'll discover: A simple, practical definition of emotional intelligence: bringing the best version of yourself to any context, especially under pressure The four muscle groups of emotional intelligence, and why most leaders overtrain the top two and neglect the "legs" that hold everything up The three sources of internal noise (mental, emotional, and physical) behind the 50,000 to 70,000 self-talk moments you experience every day Why 100 percent personal responsibility is the foundation every other leadership skill stands on Dawn doesn't sugarcoat it: "The bad news is it's you. You're the problem. The good news is, it's you." Because the one thing you have the most power over is your own attitudes and behaviors. Imagine walking into your next high-stakes mee…

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