# 96. Self-care is NOT selfish, but it IS this...

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/mothering-ourselves-mindfully-7036456/96-self-care-is-not-selfish-but-it-is-this
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/mothering-ourselves-mindfully-7036456/96-self-care-is-not-selfish-but-it-is-this.md
Podcast: [Mothering Ourselves Mindfully](https://stenobird.com/podcast/mothering-ourselves-mindfully-7036456)
Published: 2026-08-13T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.theschoolofmom.com
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/df2a275c-970a-4544-9ec6-93a0df964d89.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/mothering-ourselves-mindfully-7036456/episodes/96-self-care-is-not-selfish-but-it-is-this
Duration seconds: 694

## Resource

Recorded on a walk in Maine (same outfit, five days running, this episode takes on one of the beliefs that I get the most fired up about: the (couldn’t be more far from the truth) belief that self-care is selfish. I break down why that line is a lie, why attuned presence - not constant self-sacrifice - is what our loved ones actually need from us, and introduce a new framework born out of Mothering Ourselves Mindfully: self-care isn't selfish; it's selves-ish - selves in steady harmony. Key Points Why "self-care is selfish" is programming, not truth What our loved ones (and our kids especially) actually need from us: attuned presence, not self-sacrifice How self-care builds the nervous system capacity to show up the way we want to The reframe: it's not taking care of yourself that's actually selfish Why Sarah changes "self" to "selves" throughout Mothering Ourselves Mindfully — we are not just one self Naming our internal parts (anger, shame, anxiety) as a tool for selves care Selves care in action: the primal scream for anger vs. rest and softness for sadness or overwhelm The new framework: selves-ish = selves in steady harmony Integration and wholeness — all parts of us are welcome Quotes "Self-care is selves-ish, and selves-ish is selves in steady harmony." "It is not taking care of yourself that is selfish." "The biggest present you can give is presence." "All parts of you are welcome here." Resources Mentioned Mothering Ourselves Mindfully waitlist - opens September 2026, program starts October 2026: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist The Self-Awareness Trap — free audio resource: https://theschoolofmom.com/trap Discover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz : https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz Send Sarah your voice note right HERE : https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmo…

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