# 1822 || forgiveness is a skill

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/1822-forgiveness-is-a-skill
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/1822-forgiveness-is-a-skill.md
Podcast: [Make Your Damn Bed](https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987)
Published: 2026-08-12T04:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed/episodes/1822-forgiveness-is-a-skill
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6152264dc28ad2001383af42/e/6a7bfe48d6c287f9eeb73e28/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/episodes/1822-forgiveness-is-a-skill
Duration seconds: 555

## Resource

forgiveness requires a willingness to move beyond our negative feelings. fortunately, we are predisposed to heal + forgiveness is a big part of that. we just need to create the conditions to allow our natural mechanisms to function. R — Recall the Hurt: Honestly remember the transgression, without minimizing or maximizing it. This is not rumination but a clear-eyed acknowledgment of what happened and how it affected you. E — Empathize: Try to understand the transgressor's perspective — their state of mind, history, and circumstances — not to excuse but to humanize. Research shows that perspective-taking is a crucial mediator of forgiveness: it becomes harder to sustain pure resentment toward someone you genuinely understand. A — Altruistic Gift: Recall a time you needed forgiveness from someone and received it, or a time you were the one who caused harm. Recognize forgiveness as a gift you can offer — not because it's deserved but because you know what it's like to need it. This step frames forgiveness as a generous act rather than a capitulation. C — Commit: Make a public or written commitment to forgiving — journaling about it, telling a trusted person, or simply writing a statement. Commitment makes the decision more durable and resistant to resentment's return. H — Hold onto Forgiveness: Expect that resentment will return and prepare to recommit to forgiveness when it does. Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time achievement; renewing the commitment when resentment resurfaces is normal and expected. THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/ https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgiveness https://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-science Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the s…

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## Transcript

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