# 1791 || self neglect didn't make me more lovable

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/1791-self-neglect-didn-t-make-me-more-lovable
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/1791-self-neglect-didn-t-make-me-more-lovable.md
Podcast: [Make Your Damn Bed](https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-your-damn-bed-1372987)
Published: 2026-06-23T04:01:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed/episodes/1791-self-neglect-didnt-make-me-more-lovable
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/6152264dc28ad2001383af42/e/6a37ea194a2a3be0f4e5af61/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/make-your-damn-bed-1372987/episodes/1791-self-neglect-didn-t-make-me-more-lovable
Duration seconds: 641

## Resource

Do you struggle to answer the question: "what do I want?" Do you tend to put other people's needs above your own? Do you think the only way to be loved is through being helpful? Constantly making choices that put other people's needs before your own that force us to abandon our own well-being can slowly erode our ability to understand what we want. It doesn't feel like self-abandonment. It feels like "keeping the peace" or "getting through it". So we dismiss ourselves and our basic needs, and that pattern becomes a habit. Self-neglect becomes the norm. We minimize ourselves out of fear of pushing people away. But this is dangerous. And counter-intuitive. We build better, more connected relationships when we allow ourselves to connect to ourselves, first. THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/self-abandonment/ Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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