# 71: Co-Pilot or Passenger? How to Start Steering Your Relationship Together

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-more-love-6719840/71-co-pilot-or-passenger-how-to-start-steering-your-relationship-together
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-more-love-6719840/71-co-pilot-or-passenger-how-to-start-steering-your-relationship-together.md
Podcast: [Make More Love](https://stenobird.com/podcast/make-more-love-6719840)
Published: 2025-11-06T13:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://makemorelove.show
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/a41b4a31-20ea-4be7-90b7-f9f6856ff8fd.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/make-more-love-6719840/episodes/71-co-pilot-or-passenger-how-to-start-steering-your-relationship-together
Duration seconds: 1140

## Resource

Ellen Dorian explores how business owners can strengthen their relationships by treating their partnership as the foundation that holds everything else together. Drawing from a Trevor Noah podcast quote about spending time with his father, she examines the cost of making unilateral business decisions without partner input. The episode provides a framework for integrating business and relationship priorities through structured communication, tiered decision-making, and weekly alignment meetings. Part 1: The Cost of Exclusion - Ellen shares a quote from Roy Wood Jr. about being along for the ride rather than truly included in his father's life. - Business owners often make rapid decisions without consulting partners who will be affected by the outcomes. - Top-down thinking creates resistance and undermines support, even when partners don't openly object. - Shared visions can drift apart over time, leaving couples working toward completely different outcomes. - The question "Are you running your business or is your business running you?" reveals a common trap. Part 2: The Juggling and Herding Problem - Most business owners have three competing priorities: work, family, and personal fulfillment. - Juggling means keeping balls in the air, but one is always falling—you can only hold two at a time. - Herding is attempting to control everything at once, like stuffing three cats in a bag. - Both approaches fail because they rely on one person being solely responsible for everything. - Business decisions directly impact partners whether they've agreed to them or not. Part 3: The Airplane Framework - Ellen introduces a new model: your relationship is the airplane, with two seats in the cockpit. - Everything else—business, kids, extended family, hobbies—belongs in the cabin as pas…

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## Transcript

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