# Replay #3: why fight lingers?

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/replay-3-why-fight-lingers
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/replay-3-why-fight-lingers.md
Podcast: [Love Inside Out with Adele Testa](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936)
Published: 2026-07-01T16:49:20+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach/episodes/Replay-3-why-fight-lingers-e3lhcqi
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/play/122253586/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-6-1%2F427177011-44100-2-3d8bbfc08d52e.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/episodes/replay-3-why-fight-lingers
Duration seconds: 781

## Resource

Most of us think the fight is the damage, but the real damage usually happens after , in the silence nobody teaches us how to handle. This week's Sunday Heart Note was about the careful quiet that shows up on holiday. So I'm bringing back one of my favourite episodes on a different silence entirely: the one that lands right after a row. 🤎 In this extract of episode 11, we get into why you genuinely can't have a calm conversation three minutes later, the three things we all do instead i.e. rush it, go cold, or pretend nothing happened; and the difference between an apology and an actual repair. I also share one of the most vulnerable stories I've told on here: the months I picked fights about the bins when the real thing I couldn't say had nothing to do with the bins at all. 🤎 If you've been arguing in circles and can't figure out why, this one's for you. 🤎 If you are curious to listen to the entire episode, here is the link If you want to share your thoughts, get in touch at @adele_thecoach on instagram

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## Transcript

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