# 19. Be careful who you talk to about your Love life

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/19-be-careful-who-you-talk-to-about-your-love-life
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/19-be-careful-who-you-talk-to-about-your-love-life.md
Podcast: [Love Inside Out with Adele Testa](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936)
Published: 2026-04-26T06:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach/episodes/19--Be-careful-who-you-talk-to-about-your-Love-life-e3icggr
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/play/118947803/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-3-25%2F422872431-44100-2-fc0af0f3619d.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/episodes/19-be-careful-who-you-talk-to-about-your-love-life
Duration seconds: 1683

## Resource

This episode is for anyone who's ever left a coffee, a dinner, or a group chat feeling quietly worse about their relationship — without being able to say exactly why. For anyone who's compared their love life to a friend's highlight reel and come up short. For anyone who vents to the same person every time and wonders why nothing ever shifts. But here's what happened. This Sunday I accidentally ran a mini group coaching session about love. With three strangers. On a park bench. Before brunch. I did not sign up for this. I watched one woman's sense of her own marriage swing from relief to shame in ninety seconds — based entirely on two sentences from two people she'd just met. And I couldn't stay quiet about it. Because what happened on that bench happens to all of us. We just don't notice it. Press play if you want: The comparison trap — To understand why casual conversations about other people's relationships quietly sabotage how you feel about your own. Standards, not comparisons — A three-column framework for deciding what is okay, what is negotiable, and what is a no-no in your relationship — so you stop outsourcing your compass to strangers on park benches. Choose your person on purpose — The difference between a sounding board that calibrates you and one that just cheers you on. Why co-rumination — the thing that feels like support — actually embeds the hurt deeper. And how to pick the right person before you need them. Heart Work of the week: three things to do this week to turn what you heard into what you practise. This episode is less theory, more story. I think you'll recognise yourself somewhere in it. Chapters: Introduction: 0:00 - 0:49- 1:32 The Park Bench Story: 1:32 - 5:56 Comparison in Relationships: 5:56 - 9:20 The Concept of Standards: 9:20 - 15:23 S…

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