# 12. Why we rage at the people we love

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Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/12-why-we-rage-at-the-people-we-love.md
Podcast: [Love Inside Out with Adele Testa](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936)
Published: 2026-03-08T08:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach/episodes/12--Why-we-rage-at-the-people-we-love-e3g3g87
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/play/116555463/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-5-4%2F425533438-44100-2-3767efe72289a.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/episodes/12-why-we-rage-at-the-people-we-love
Duration seconds: 2386

## Resource

Have you ever lost your temper with someone you love and barely recognised yourself afterwards? Not just frustrated — properly gone. The message you fired off with shaking hands. Or the silence you went into on purpose, because you knew it would cut deeper than anything you could say. This week I'm taking on anger and rage — that zero-to-hundred surge where the calm, reasonable version of you vanishes and something far older takes the wheel. I'll walk you through what's actually happening in your brain when this hits, why the person standing in front of you is almost never the real cause, and why we stay so composed with strangers yet completely come apart with the people we're closest to. Here's what to expect: Why anger is a healthy, necessary emotion — and rage is something else entirely The iceberg sitting under your fury: the fear, the grief, the feeling of being unseen that the anger is really protecting How the way we were raised decides whether we blow up or quietly turn it inward The "emotional bank account" idea — how every explosion costs you more than you think, whether you're three dates or three years in Why rage rooms and screaming into cushions can actually backfire, and how I moved from managing my anger to preventing it And yes — the time I detonated over a single strawberry, and what it taught me about everything I'd been swallowing for months If you're partnered, dating, on the receiving end of someone else's rage, or single and still carrying the weight of how you've reacted before — I made this one for you. Previous episode I mentioned: 10. Overthinking in Relationships & Dating - here is the link . New episodes every Sunday . Follow Love Inside Out so you never miss one. 📩 DMs on Instagram always open: @adele_thecoach . Chapters: 00…

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