# 10. Overthinking in relationships & dating: Why your brain won't let you love in peace

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/10-overthinking-in-relationships-dating-why-your-brain-won-t-let-you-love-in-peace
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936/10-overthinking-in-relationships-dating-why-your-brain-won-t-let-you-love-in-peace.md
Podcast: [Love Inside Out with Adele Testa](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-inside-out-with-adele-testa-7707936)
Published: 2026-02-22T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/adelethecoach/episodes/10--Overthinking-in-relationships--dating-Why-your-brain-wont-let-you-love-in-peace-e3fdrj2
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10c9e84e8/podcast/play/115846178/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-1-21%2F418559133-44100-2-7865391fa5143.m4a
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Duration seconds: 1898

## Resource

You replayed the conversation. You analysed the text. You stayed up at 2AM building an argument about something that hasn't happened yet. And now your stomach hurts. This episode unpacks why overthinking takes over in relationships and dating — and what's actually going on underneath it. We explore horror vacui (the brain's refusal to sit with uncertainty), the cognitive distortions that make you react to a story instead of reality, and the self-fulfilling prophecy where the fear of losing someone becomes the very thing that pushes them away. You'll also learn the five rumination cycles — blame, control, doubt, worry, and self-pity — and discover which one runs your mind. Plus, a practical framework called the SLOW method to interrupt the loop in real time. Whether you're in a relationship or navigating modern dating, this one's for you. Especially if you've ever lost an entire Sunday to a one-word text.

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## Transcript

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