# The Real Reason “I’m Fine” Backfires in Relationships | Love | E533

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/the-real-reason-i-m-fine-backfires-in-relationships-love-e533
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/the-real-reason-i-m-fine-backfires-in-relationships-love-e533.md
Podcast: [Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318)
Published: 2026-06-25T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-real-reason-i-m-fine-backfires-in-relationships-love-e533--72685828
Audio file: https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/72685828/yap3613503890.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/episodes/the-real-reason-i-m-fine-backfires-in-relationships-love-e533
Duration seconds: 4000

## Resource

If you’ve ever said “I’m fine,” watched your partner believe you, and then felt even more hurt than before, this episode is for you. Because that tiny moment, the one where you want them to know you’re not okay without having to spell it out, is where so many couples quietly lose each other. In this episode, I’m talking with therapist and workplace wellbeing expert Nidhi Tewari about attunement, the relationship skill that helps people feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe. We’ll unpack why loving partners still miss each other’s cues, why fixing, reassuring, or changing the subject can accidentally make someone feel more alone, and how to become an “explorer,” someone who asks instead of assumes. You’ll learn how to emotionally connect with your partner in a way that actually lands: how to calm yourself before a hard conversation, what to say when your partner is hurting, how to ask for what you need out loud, and how to share what hurts without starting a fight. In this episode: 04:00: The skill that can quietly make every relationship better 09:44: Why emotional connection is something you can learn 21:55: Why you can’t connect until you calm yourself first 32:12: Fixer, Avoider, Connector, or Explorer: which one are you? 38:24: What to say so your partner finally feels seen 46:36: Why “I’m fine” backfires, and how to ask for what you need 52:45: How to tell your partner what hurts without starting a fight If you’ve been stuck in that lonely loop of hoping your partner will just know, then feeling disappointed when they don’t, this episode will help you do something different. The first skill that brings couples back together is one you can start practicing tonight. Press play, and let’s begin. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this mon…

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## Transcript

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