# Is Your Secure Bond Missing? How to Build Trust and Feel Safe | Dr. Amir Levine | Happiness | E516

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/is-your-secure-bond-missing-how-to-build-trust-and-feel-safe-dr-amir-levine-happiness-e516
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/is-your-secure-bond-missing-how-to-build-trust-and-feel-safe-dr-amir-levine-happiness-e516.md
Podcast: [Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318)
Published: 2026-04-16T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/is-your-secure-bond-missing-how-to-build-trust-and-feel-safe-dr-amir-levine-happiness-e516--71363455
Audio file: https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/71363455/yap9143772319.mp3
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Duration seconds: 4276

## Resource

If you want a secure bond but keep feeling activated or shut down, you’re not doomed. A secure bond gets built through emotional intimacy, trust, and safe relationships, not willpower. Most people hear about attachment styles and think, “Okay… that’s me.” But insight alone doesn’t change your nervous system. And it doesn’t change your relationship patterns. In this conversation, Dr. Amir Levine and I are talking about secure attachment, what it really means, and how to become securely attached in the relationships that matter most. Knowing you lean anxious or avoidant is one thing. Creating emotional safety in relationships is something else entirely. When love starts to feel like chasing, bracing, second-guessing, or shutting down, that is usually not a character flaw. It is a pattern that can change. Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, and the coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he explains what a secure attachment style in relationships looks like, why attachment is not a fixed sentence from childhood, and how safe, steady relationships can help your nervous system move toward more trust and connection. We talk about anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, the difference between attachment patterns and attachment disorders, and why security matters far beyond romance. You’ll also hear why avoidant attachment style communication patterns can leave both people feeling more distressed, how small moments of responsiveness build trust, and why some relationships keep your attachment system activated instead of helping you feel safe. As you listen, notice which relationships help you feel calmer, clearer, an…

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