# Control Issues? How To Know If You're The Problem | Love | E555

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/control-issues-how-to-know-if-you-re-the-problem-love-e555
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318/control-issues-how-to-know-if-you-re-the-problem-love-e555.md
Podcast: [Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby](https://stenobird.com/podcast/love-happiness-and-success-with-dr-lisa-marie-bobby-7046318)
Published: 2026-09-10T09:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/control-issues-how-to-know-if-you-re-the-problem-love-e555--75046021
Audio file: https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75046021/yap4283715038.mp3
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Duration seconds: 4426

## Resource

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots? What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing? Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners. This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Seth Bender, M.A., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach at Growing Self, to expose what control issues actually look like — including the ones you may not recognize in yourself. You’ll learn: Why control itself isn’t the problem The hidden reason you need things to go your way How to recognize your personal “rattlesnake rattles” before you react When reassurance quietly becomes control Why trying to control your partner backfires How to stop managing them and start managing yourself Because sometimes the hardest relationship truth is this: You may not experience yourself the way your partner experiences you. And being willing to see that could change everything. If this hits close to home, Seth can help. He works with individuals and couples to understand these deeper patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create real change without blame or shame. Book a free consultation with Seth at growingself.com/seth. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without t…

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