# Living a Lie for 23 Years: How a Pastor Lost His Wife, Kids, and Church in One Day

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/living-a-lie-for-23-years-how-a-pastor-lost-his-wife-kids-and-church-in-one-day
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/living-a-lie-for-23-years-how-a-pastor-lost-his-wife-kids-and-church-in-one-day.md
Podcast: [Lights On with Carl Lentz](https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795)
Published: 2025-12-31T06:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://s.gum.fm/s-6750d39b27f9d571b5016e8c/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/d16d515d-c914-4246-9e7d-716819c5018b.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
Audio file: https://s.gum.fm/s-6750d39b27f9d571b5016e8c/claritaspod.com/measure/pscrb.fm/rss/p/rss.art19.com/episodes/d16d515d-c914-4246-9e7d-716819c5018b.mp3?rss_browser=BAhJIg90cmFuc2NyaWJyBjoGRVQ%3D--952c5701c84ad333c69d5faa668f8177091704f0
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/episodes/living-a-lie-for-23-years-how-a-pastor-lost-his-wife-kids-and-church-in-one-day
Duration seconds: 3969

## Resource

In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Blaine Bartell for round two of a conversation that sparked hundreds of messages from pastors in secret crisis. Blaine, a former megachurch pastor who led one of America's largest youth ministries, reveals the unspoken rule destroying leaders from the inside: "Thou shalt not get caught." For the first time, he shares the shocking moment when a well-known pastor looked him in the eye after his exposure and said, "You know what the difference is between you and me? You got caught." They dive deep into a buried Focus on the Family study revealing 68% of pastors struggle with porn, why that number is likely closer to 85% today, and why the church has created a system that disciplines men into secrecy rather than healing. From the identity shift that finally broke his 23-year addiction to why porn is never the real problem, this conversation exposes the epidemic nobody in church will talk about. Whether you're a pastor hiding in plain sight, a man who can't break free no matter how hard you try, or someone who loves a person trapped in secret shame, this episode offers a roadmap to the freedom of having nothing left to hide. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Blaine at: https://blainebartell.com/ Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 - INTRO: "Thou Shalt Not Get Caught" 01:08 - Blaine's Story: 23 Years of Secret Addiction Behind Ministry Success 05:10 - Good Friday 2010: The Day Everything Was Exposed 09:50 - "You Got Caught. I Didn't." — What a Megachurch Pastor Told Him 14:52 - The Buried Study: Focus on the Family Found 68% of Pastors Struggle 20:26 - "When We Punish Honesty, We Disciple Secrecy" 23:45…

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/episodes/living-a-lie-for-23-years-how-a-pastor-lost-his-wife-kids-and-church-in-one-day/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/lights-on-with-carl-lentz-6927795/living-a-lie-for-23-years-how-a-pastor-lost-his-wife-kids-and-church-in-one-day.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.