# When the Aggressor is You: Therapist Activation in the Playroom with Mili Shoemaker (Best of)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/lessons-from-the-playroom-326000/when-the-aggressor-is-you-therapist-activation-in-the-playroom-with-mili-shoemaker-best-of
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/lessons-from-the-playroom-326000/when-the-aggressor-is-you-therapist-activation-in-the-playroom-with-mili-shoemaker-best-of.md
Podcast: [Lessons from the Playroom](https://stenobird.com/podcast/lessons-from-the-playroom-326000)
Published: 2026-08-11T10:39:00+00:00
Episode link: https://lessonsfromtheplayroom.libsyn.com/when-the-aggressor-is-you-therapist-activation-in-the-playroom-with-mili-shoemaker-best-of
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/lessonsfromtheplayroom/LFPR_Lisa-Mili_Aggression_Audio_repurposed.mp3?dest-id=488296
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/lessons-from-the-playroom-326000/episodes/when-the-aggressor-is-you-therapist-activation-in-the-playroom-with-mili-shoemaker-best-of
Duration seconds: 2770

## Resource

Originally aired April 8, 2025 "Every part of us, even the ones we've been taught to reject, holds the potential for growth and healing." – Mili Shoemaker Aggression in the playroom is a familiar topic—but what happens when it's not coming from the child, but from within us as therapists? This is a conversation we rarely hear in the play therapy world, yet it's a reality many therapists silently grapple with. In this eye-opening episode, Lisa sits down with Mili Shoemaker, a seasoned play therapist, Synergetic Play Therapy trainer, and clinical supervisor, to explore what it means when therapists feel their own aggression arise in session. With honesty and compassion, Lisa and Mili unpack the discomfort, shame, and stigma that often accompany these experiences. They dive into the protective patterns that emerge when we try to suppress these feelings, and how true healing begins when we stop rejecting these parts of ourselves. Together, Lisa and Mili explore: ✨ The taboo of therapist aggression – Why this conversation is missing in the play therapy world and why it needs to be heard. ✨ Recognizing therapist activation – How to notice when your own history, protective mechanisms, and triggers show up in the playroom. ✨ Befriending aggression – How shifting from judgment to curiosity about our own aggressive parts creates deeper therapeutic presence. ✨ Embodied expression vs. catharsis – Why aggression isn't something to suppress, but also isn't about explosive release. ✨ The unmet needs beneath aggression – Understanding what these feelings are signaling and how to meet them with self-compassion. ✨ Breaking free from shame – How to reframe aggression as part of our full humanity rather than something to fear or reject. ✨ Integration and authenticity – Why making space fo…

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