# 17. How Am I Supposed to Know How to Truly Parent?

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/know-your-children-with-rav-shlomo-katz-7478156/17-how-am-i-supposed-to-know-how-to-truly-parent
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/know-your-children-with-rav-shlomo-katz-7478156/17-how-am-i-supposed-to-know-how-to-truly-parent.md
Podcast: [Know Your Children with Rav Shlomo Katz](https://stenobird.com/podcast/know-your-children-with-rav-shlomo-katz-7478156)
Published: 2026-02-22T09:46:35+00:00
Episode link: https://share.transistor.fm/s/a301ba18
Audio file: https://media.transistor.fm/a301ba18/59a934f4.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/know-your-children-with-rav-shlomo-katz-7478156/episodes/17-how-am-i-supposed-to-know-how-to-truly-parent
Duration seconds: 3269

## Resource

Parenting can feel like you’re expected to know how to do something you’ve never done before — and then do it differently for each child. In this week’s Know Your Children , Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David go deeper into a core yesod: investing in a child’s emotional development isn’t a “nice extra” — it’s essential. We talk about the pressure parents feel, the fear of “getting it wrong,” and why failure is often the only real way we learn (“ein habayshan lamed / אין הביישן למד”). From there, we move into practical, real-life tools: upgrading the quality of conversations as kids get older, creating daily emotional check-ins, and integrating a child’s emotional world into normal home life (not only reacting when something goes wrong). Along the way: a powerful “good questions” chinuch story, humility in parenting, and a big reminder that self-care and emotional health in the parent is often a prerequisite to building it in the child. ---------- For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t CHAPTERS 00:00 Opening and Sponsorship Acknowledgments 01:29 Emotional Development Is a Must 03:52 Physical Growth vs Emotional Needs 05:52 Parents’ Self-Criticism and Growth 08:51 Learning Through Failure (Ein Habayshan Lamed) 10:38 Humility in Parenting 11:44 Divine Intent in Parenting 13:10 Practical Steps for Emotional Investment 18:05 Age-Specific Emotional Strategies 22:51 Recording Device Test for Family Talk 25:35 Daily Parent-Child Check-In: “How Was Your Day?” 26:38 The “Good Questions” Lesson from Isadore Rabi 28:39 Integrating a Child’s Emotional World into Daily Life 31:14 Limits of the Chinuch Obligation After Bar/B…

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